Just to Get High
by JordanPatzCullen
Summary: Collab with UnstopableArcticVamp SongFic based on Just to Get High by Nickelback Jasper turns to drugs to ease the pain of feeling everyones emotions Edward,his twin and best friend does everything he can to save hime from himself Bella, who already loves Jazz, comes in can she save him or will she lose him forever in that alley in the middle of the night? M for drug references
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey lovlies this is my first story, so be nice but I do accept constructive crittisism. This is a collab with my bestest friend in the world UnstopableArticVamp in real life and in FanFiction world. You can read this on here or under her too, also check out her other story Remind Me, it is also a Jasper/ Bella. I'm her pre-reader for it so I just gots to pimp it out for her lol. **

**This story does have drug use/abuse, so if you have a probolem with that turn away now, also there will be lemons in later chapters. **

**Disclaimer: This will be the only disclaimer I will have. All chareters belong to Stephanie Meyer we just like too play with them like they are puppets. Any simililarities in our plot belong to Nickelback because this is a slight songfic. **

**To get a feel for where our inspiration came from go and listen to Just to Get High by Nickleback.**

**Now I'm done here see you at the bottom X)**

**Best Friends**

**Edward's POV: **Fuck me, Monday morning already. Rolling over to grab my phone, to check it like the morning paper. It's plugged in lying on the table beside my bed, charging by the framed picture of me and him. We are lying on our stomachs playing our new PS3 we got for our birthday, both of us with smiles ear to ear. He is my best friend, Jasper, my twin brother. We are nothing alike though. He's all our Dad, Carlisle. He's got the same honey blond hair but Jasper's hair curls messily at the top of his head and Carlisle's same icy blue eyes. While I'm my momma's boy; I have her straight odd color of reddish bronze hair and her green eyes. Twenty minutes later I'm sitting in my Volvo waiting for Jasper to get his ass out here. Every day I wait for him and everyday we're late to school. Come on we only have a few more weeks of our senior year just one time in my life I'd like to be on time. I get that from Carlisle, I have to be early everywhere I go, take the same route every time and that just drives Jasper insane. Ten minutes pass and he finally slides into the leather seat wearing jeans and light gray t-shirt. He still has sleep in his eyes and the underneath of them still have dark circles, like he's had know sleep in the past three weeks.

"What took you so long?" I ask trying not to sound too pissed off.

"Nothing," He mutters under his breath avoiding eye contact with me because he knows what's coming next.

"Empty your pockets,"

"Fuck off."

"No. Empty them. Now," I look at him sternly, stopping at a red light and he gives in. He pulls out a green pipe out and I snatch it out of his hands. This is what he started with, weed.

"What the hell dude? You fucking promised! No more, remember that? You promised you'd quit!" I scream.

"Yeah, I did but it's getting worse Edward! I wake up and I don't want to move, I feel every one. This is the only way I can feel normal." He murmurs. I tried to help him, honestly I did, but he would trade anything just to end his suffering and I couldn't blame him. But I just couldn't lose him; I know it's not just weed he's going after. I've tried to convince him to try and get help; I mean our own father is a damn doctor.

"What else did you plan on doing today?" I ask, but he stays silent. "Tell me!" I holler.

"Black pearl,"

"Heroin again? Really Jasper, I can't fucking lose you, you're going to stop doing this," I shake the pipe in his face, "I will find a way to make you stop, even if it's the last fucking thing I do," I state calmly while slamming the car door to make my way inside the school, where I am greeted with a kiss on the cheek by my girl.

The way she has to stand on her very tippy toes to reach my face is way too adorable for me to handle so I bring my lips to hers. Her kiss takes the sting out of my pounding headache.

"Hey guys!" Bella walks through the front door of the school with Charlotte; Peter follows behind with his hand laced in hers. "Jasper not here today?" she questions while looking around me and Alice to find him.

"Uh yeah, but he might still be out in the car. We kind of got in a fight this morning." I explain.

"Oh," she says then trails off to her class as the first bell just rang. I know she has a thing for him, mostly because she told me how 'cute' and 'sweet' he was. I don't understand how she says that because most of the time lately he's just been a dick to anyone who looks at him. The way her eyes light up when his name leaves her mouth, and even though they don't talk and don't have the friendship Bella and I share, something about her makes his light up when he sees her.

The first two periods surprisingly fly in a blur and Jasper exits his class, that's directly across the hall from mine, at the same time.

"Hey!" I try to sound as cheery as possible hoping our fight has blown over. We walk to the lunch room together he still not speaking to me. Okay apparently I was wrong, he'll get over it though, he always does.

"I want my pipe back. I'm meeting James during lunch. I have every intention of getting high." He tells me when we break into my circle of friends. They're not really friends to him because he keeps to himself, staying away from everybody to avoid everyone's emotions. I'm the only one that knows about his curse and I am the only one who knows he's hard on drugs.

"No. I will not give it back," I state feeling the blood run to face in anger.

"Edward please! You don't know what this is like! I have everyone's anger, depression and anxiety pushed into me! I can't take it anymore; if a little weed makes me feel normal for even just a couple of minutes, that's what I'm going to do!" he pleads, turning around trying to stomp away. But I grab his forearm forcefully, stopping in his tracks.

"Hey! I get it okay, but you can't keep doing this. Please just let Dad help you!" I beg. But he shakes out of my grasp and stomps out of the school.

I'm pinching the bridge of my nose when Bella and Alice walk up. Alice grabs my hand and Bella doesn't say anything because I'm sure she just witnessed our fight and she wants to chase after him, make it all better. I really wish she wasn't so caring; he's not right for her she'll only walk away broken. I spend lunch with Alice in my lap and I try to seem as normal as possible. I laugh when everyone laughs throw in a couple yeah's and sure's to prove I'm listening. Jasper and I fight all the time recently and I know it's because of the drugs; I just want my brother back, my best friend. I know he'll just blow it off and come back for last hour American History, but when he doesn't show even Bella is concerned. We're studying the Civil War now, his favorite subject; I don't understand why he's not here. I feel that half of my heart dedicated to my family crack a little deeper because I know I am already losing him.

After the bell finally rings letting this fuckery of a day end, I wait in my car for an hour to wait for Jasper to show, but he never does. I drive home alone blaring Five Finger Death Punch, my own dose of anger music. Entering the house, the over powering scent of my mother's pot roast wafts into my nose.

"Hi honey! How was school?" She asks just like every other day.

"Good, I think." I offer a smile.

"Is your brother still out in the car?" she inquires.

"Um, no he actually went home with a couple of friends; he asked me to tell you when I got home that he wouldn't be home for dinner," I say covering for him. I hate lying to my mom but what else can I do? I tell them what he's really doing and I have betrayed him and lost all my trust he as in anyone. He needs someone or he just might go and, yeah, can't even think about that.

"Okay," she chimes off into the kitchen to start making homemade bread. With Carlisle's busy schedule, Monday and Saturday nights are generally the only ones we have family dinners.

I sit in my room, still with anger music playing, to do my homework and exchanging texts with Alice until dinner is ready.

"Edward! Carlisle! Dinner is ready!" Esme hollers up the stairs, I meet Carlisle in the hallway as he exits his office. Once at the table we all join hands and Carlisle leads our family in thanking the Lord for everything we have and reminds Him how much we all need each other.

"Amen." We all say in unison and start digging in. Dinner goes smoothly as always. We talk about our jobs, my grades and no one is worrying about Jasper but me. He does such a good job of hiding everything they don't suspect anything is wrong. Esme over cooks as always, she makes enough to feed an army almost every meal, but everything is delicious.

After dinner, I help with the dishes and take a shower. I step into the steaming water and wash my body slowly. I slide down the wall of the shower until I'm sitting with my head between my knees; I close my eyes and let the too hot water pour down my back. My head is throbbing with thoughts about Jasper. I know snorting the heroine hasn't been cutting it lately and he's going to try shooting up. I can almost live with him just doing the weed but heroin will fuck you up; I just couldn't live with myself if something happened to him and I didn't say anything. I sit there until the water runs cold and even after that I still sit there longer. I get dressed in my black wife beater and sweats and call Bella.

"Hello?" she answers.

"Hey," I try to mask the fact I am about to break down. "Um, have you seen Jasper?"

"No. I haven't seen him since lunch," the phone goes silent. "Bella?" but the only thing I hear is a faint whisper.

"Jasper?" her voice asks nervously.

"Wait, did you find him?" I scream. But she doesn't answer that question.

"Tell me what you know, tell me what you've gone and done, Edward!" She screams back at me. I open my mouth to beg for answers. But the phone is silent. Where is she? Where is he? Is he okay? I call back but her phone goes straight to her happy voiced voicemail. I try again and again until my phone dies. I plug it in and go downstairs to see my dad in watching the football game, or Pack Ball as Carlisle likes to call it. He's changed into his Packers t-shirt and sweats as well. I look everywhere for Carlisle's phone so I can keep trying Bella's phones but every time its voice mail. I call Jasper for the millionth time this night and his goes to voicemail, too. Jasper still isn't home even Esme starts to worry.

"Who did you say Jasper was with?" She asks he never misses his ten o'clock curfew.

"Peter, I think," I answer pulling the most random name out of my head. Right then the home phone rings and Esme answers. The little hairs on the back of my neck are standing up and there's an eerie feeling in the air. It's too late for anyone to be calling us; even Alice wouldn't call this late. I'm holding my breath as she answers the phone.

"Hello?" Through the static of the phone I can still make out what the man is saying on the other line.

"Mrs. Cullen? Yeah, we have your son here in Forks Memorial Hospital you need to get down here right away."

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**A/N: Thank you so much for reading please review and tell us what you think, suggestions, critisim, or anything. Updates will become regular after we get the first three or so chapters out.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey persons here is chapter two hope you like it. Thanks for all the followers, faves, reviews we really appriciate them they always give us more inspiration. Possibly keep tissues close for this one.**

**Chapter 2**

**Tell Me What You Know**

**Bella's POV: **I'm laughing with my best friend, Alice, as we exit Mr. Varner's useless calculus class. We trot to lunch quickly to meet with Edward, Peter and Char. Breaking into the lunch room I see his honey blond curls from across the room. My heart skips a beat. He's shaking his head and his eyebrows are scrunched in furry as he and Edward take turns yelling at each other. He attempts to stomp off but Edward stops him for only a second. Jasper stomps off and as he leaves he brushes up against my shoulders with some force as he's walking angrily, and a million sparks radiate through my body. I just want to grab his arm and pull him into my chest to play with his hair to calm him down, but he doesn't even know I exist. The rest of lunch goes as normal and despite the fight Edward had with Jasper, he doesn't seem too upset about it.

Third hour drags as I am anticipating sitting behind Jasper in American History, and with any kind of luck we'll have a group project and he'll be my partner. But when he doesn't show I grow concerned. He has never once missed a history class; he's kind of a nerd about the Civil War, what we're learning now, and he's not here. But I don't care if he is a history nut, it's kind of cute. Fearing I'm starting to think like an obsessed, crazy girlfriend I blow his absence off. After fourth hour literally drags on forever the bell finally rings and because my crappy old truck is in the shop, my older teddy bear of a brother Emmett, picks me up in his police car. He followed in our father, Charlie's, footsteps. But I plan on going into nursing. Once home, I quickly change into my brown khaki's and green polo and stuff an Evanescence t-shirt and yoga pants into by school bag and head to work my shift at the dinner.

With my shift completed, I change into my new clothes and drive Emmett's Jeep to my EMT training at the Forks Fire Station. I'm trying to get as ahead as possible so when I attend University of Seattle this fall I'll be at the top of my class. I sit down in a desk and pull out my notes to study for our final test. If I pass I'll be a fully certified EMT. Funny how classes fly by when it's something you care about, like history, only when a certain blond someone is sitting in front of you. Why? Why am I thinking about Jasper again? I carefully stuff all my notebooks and pencils into my bag for the end of the night.

I leave the building stressing about the test so much my hands are sweating; the only thing that stops me from having an anxiety attack is visions of Jasper's face floating around in my mind. I have this really strange urge to walk down the sidewalk along the parking lot. Before I know what I am doing, my feet are dragging me forward. All though I try to stop, I can't. My phone starts to ring and Edward's goofy picture pops up with his ringtone.

"Hello?" I ask with a hint of confusion. It's a little late for him to be calling me; he's not usually a big phone guy.

"Hey?" He asks nervously. "Um, have you seen Jasper lately?"

"No. Not since lunch," I say as I am walking past an ally and the corner of my eye shoots down it. There he sits, perfect like an angle. I run as fast as I can to him, tripping often but never falling to the ground. "Jasper?" I whisper.

"Wait did you find him?" Edward screams. But it's like I didn't even hear him. There he lays, my Jasper with a face full of peace and a needle in his arm, the sweat on his forehead has matted his honey blond curls down to his face.

"Tell me what you know, tell me what you've gone and done, Edward!" I chant but no answer is soon enough so I throw my phone across the ally and it literally explodes on impact. I run my hand through his sweat dampened hair and start crying, fearing for the worse.

"No, Jasper, no," I sob. I grab his wrist placing two fingers on his wrists and wait. Nothing. "No!" I open his mouth and immediately start pushing my oxygen into his mouth. I come up and start pounding on his chest. One. Two. Three. More air. One. Two. Three. I check his pulse again. Still nothing. "Come on!" I scream with a sob escaping out of my lips. Red and blue lights flash down the alley and park in front of me and Jasper. At this point I have pulled him into my arms and I have pushed his head into the crook of my neck and I am playing with his hair as the tears stream down my cheek one by one.

"Bells?" Emmett shouts as he exits the cruiser and my dad not too far behind.

"Save him!" I cry.

"An ambulance is on the way. Are you okay?" Charlie asks full of worry.

"Yeah I am fine, but….Jasper… I don't… know… Daddy… Save… him," I stutter.

"He'll be okay, Bells." Emmett says but the tone in his voice really isn't that convincing. The ambulance quickly arrives as promised by Charlie and two medics load him in on a stretcher; I ride in the ambulance with him. I'm not leaving, call me creepy but I refuse to let him go. One of the medics named Jacob removes the empty needle from Jasper's arm. They push oxygen into his nose, hook him up to heart monitors, and charge the paddles. I grab his hand that's still warm, that's a good sign right? "Come on Jasper, don't leave me!" I cry pulling his hand up to my face.

"Clear!" Jacob speaks. Jasper's body jumps off the table but the monitor shows a heartbeat. It's unsteady, but it's there. We get to the hospital and the medics force me to join the waiting room with Jasper's awaiting family.

"I'm not leaving him." I voice sternly.

"Sweetie, you have to, I'm sorry," Jacob says, his gentle brown eyes are comforting but not enough to calm this panic in my heart.

"No!" I scream as I notice the heart monitor goes out again. The other medic drags me to the waiting room, kicking and screaming. Sure enough there's Edward, Alice and Dr. Cullen and his wife. Esme has tears just pouring down her face and Dr. Cullen is just standing there like a statue in full shock. I pry Edward away from Alice's clinging hug into a hallway nearby.

"Tell me what you know! Tell me what you've gone and done!" I cry tears just streaming down my face as I blame him, shoving him into the wall with such force I'm afraid the wall is going to cave in. "I saw your fight…. Tell me!" And with that I just collapse into his chest and break down crying. Alice may be my best friend, but there is just something about Edward that makes me feel safe. We've been friends for ever to the point where he's my brother. I feel like my soul is pouring out of my eyes onto his wife beater. My heart as literally been ripped out of my chest, I am in so much pain that I turn my head and throw up all over the tile. Edward doesn't give a shit though. He uses his shirt to wipe my mouth and pulls me back in so tight that he could break me in half but that's where I don't care.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I sob so hard I feel the need to throw up again, but I pet the back of Edward's head while he plays with my hair.

"It'll be okay; he'll be okay," He says. I feel his tears fall down onto my t-shirt and soon we're both shaking hard.

"Trying to convince me or you," I try to smile.

"Both," He tries to smile back. We stand there for what seems like hours just clinging onto each other for dear life, shaking and sobbing.

"But I can still remember what his face looked like, when I found him in an alley in the middle of the night," I mummer into his chest trying not to close my eyes as I cry because I'll see Jasper's broken face.

"Dr. Cullen?" a new voice pops in. Edward and I run into the waiting room to hear what the doctor has to say about Jasper. He takes a deep breath before delivering the news, but I can't take it anymore. I burst through the doctors only doors, many nurses and doctors try to stop me, but I just keep running searching frantically for Jasper. I see him at the end cot with the curtain partly open. I run full on sprint in to the room and grab is hand in a second.

"Everything is going to be okay, Jasper. Everything is going to be okay." I chant trying to convince the both of us.

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**A/N: Let me paint you guys a little picture. Here we sit me and UnstopableArcticVamp in my room both of us cuddling her pillow pet, tears just streaming down both of our faces because this is just so hard for us to write Jasper in so much pain! But what did you think? Chapters will become more regular after the next chapter is up! Leave a little love with a review and I will send you a teaser of the next chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So here is the next chapter in this wonderful creation of ours. We treat this story like its our baby lol. Hope you enjoy.**

**Chapter 3**

**Gonna Do the Trick**

**Jasper****'****s POV****:**Fuck, my head is pounding. What the fuck is that beeping? Someone make it stop. I didn't even realize someone was holding my hand until the warmth of it squeezed around it tighter. I feel amazingly safe right now and I don't understand; I'm only feeling hope in the room of where ever I am at. Not anger. Not sorrow. Not sadness. Not happiness. Just hope. Everything goes black again and when I open my eyes I'm in an alley. The dark brick walls surround me, secluding me from everything but I still feel it. I'm holding the syringe of heroin in my right hand. This will do the trick. This is strong enough to kill me and take me away from this hell. I can't live with this anymore. Every emotion anyone has ever felt comes straight to me.

It started when I was thirteen years old. I'd notice I was happy one second then the next angry and it all depended on who I was with. I learned to stay away from people to help ease the anger. Most the time I feel pain and anger. As I got older the emotions came in stronger and I when I was 15 I befriended James, he offered me my first joint. Every emotion blew straight out of my body and I didn't feel anything. For once in my life I felt nothing. More years went by and weed didn't cut it anymore so I turned to heroin. I've been snorting it for only a couple of months and it's just not doing the trick, it just seems I can't reach that high; I still feel everyone's emotions. I'm done, no more pain. I need to reach that high that you get the very first time you do it, that feeling of euphoria, it's all I think about anymore. I've been told that when snorting doesn't work anymore, you're supposed to go to the needle. The emotions are so strong anymore that I can't even move my body anymore. Nothing helps.

Edward is the only person I have ever told about this curse and my use of drugs. Although he tries to help, most of the time he just makes it worse because I can feel his fear and disappointment in me anytime he catches me with my pipe. Everyone will just be better off without me. I push the needle in my arm and inject the drug. Gonna do the trick, gonna get over it. The drug cuts through my veins like broken glass and then lights on fire, the feeling of the needle piercing my skin sets off a whole other notorious high adding a whole other addiction. I need more. When I'm on the high I've been desperately waiting for, every thought is gone and I feel myself getting week. Nothing is a beautiful thing. I can hear people walking down the street but the only thing I feel is my heart beats slowing down and I can hear my heart pounding in my ears. Finally almost over, I'm begging for sweet relief. I can't keep my eyelids open anymore; I give up the fight and close them, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel everything is over, no more pain, and no more anger. Nothing. Everything is black and I am in complete harmony and peace.

The beeping comes back and I hear muffled crying from afar. I think my Dad is here and is yelling at someone? Who he's talking to yells back. Edward? Where the fuck am I? I'm starting to panic, I'm feeling fear and anger all over in my body and I can't stop it. Beeping grows faster and impatient. The same person squeezes my hand and that overwhelming sensation of hope wraps around my heart. What the fuck is that? I try has hard as I can to squeeze the hand back but only a little squeeze is all I have to offer. The person shuffles to the edge of the chair and gives me another squeeze so I try again. The hope fills my heart so much that I'm so scared I could shit my pants. What is this?

My eyelids finally flutter open and I am greeted by Bella, I'm surprised that she's here with me, wherever it is that I am. Her brown eyes are soft and caring but red and puffy like she's been crying. The underneath of her eyes are black from the dripping mascara from her eyelashes. Why is she here and why is she so upset? This can't be because of me; we don't even know each other that well. I have the unbearable urge to grab her into this bed I am laying in to comfort her. I don't talk to her very often. Just the usual 'hey' or 'how's it going' but for some reason I'm feeling safe and secure with her eyes locked into mine. Why do her tears cut through me like a knife?

"How are you feeling, cowboy?" she whispers so low I can barely hear her. Her lips pull at the corners just a bit and then I realize she's the one who has been holding my hand this whole time. It feels so perfect locked into mine. Her warmth reminds me just how cold I am.

"Cold," I don't even recognize my own voice. It comes out scratchy and low. She flies out of the chair she was sitting in and grabs the blanket behind the chair. She's wearing yoga pants with a pink band and an Evanescence t-shirt. Bella's brown hair has been pulled up high on the top of her head into a bun. Strands of hair pool out of the bun to surround her face.

Movement in the corner of my eye catches and Esme walks towards me with a blanket of her own. I try to reach out towards her but my hand ways a million pounds.

"Don't move, honey." She cries noticing my struggles. Her eyes are puffy and red too.

"Here you go," Bella lays the blanket over me and a tear escapes from her eye. I lift my arm, despite how much it hurts, to her face and wipe the tear from her cheek with the pad of my thumb. The painful pulling in my arm from the IV that someone stuck into it still doesn't stop me from reaching up to her. I need to comfort her.

"Don't cry." The imposter voices scratches out.

The door opens and Edward and Carlisle walk in. Both of them whipping tears out of their eyes as well. The fear and anger from my dad seep into my heart and the anxiety starts to race, but Bella grabs my hand again and the hope returns. How does she do that?

"Ed...w...ar...d" my voice stammers. He runs towards me and falls to his knees to break down sobbing in front of me and I can't stop him.

"My fault…my fault…" He mutters at the side of my bed.

"Can we have a few minutes?" I ask my voice shaky and week. Carlisle nods while grabbing Esme's hand to pull out of the room. Bella gets up and starts walking towards the door I squeeze her hand pulling her back to me, "No, you stay." I command. She stops dead in her tracks and locks her comforting brown eyes to mine again.

"Edward?"I ask his name carefully.

"Why, Jasper, why, just why?" He cries. "I told you I can't fucking lose you! Do you fucking know how close I came today to loosing you, Jazz? Do you fucking know? Do you!" He screams throwing his head in his hands and I feel every ounce of fear and disappointment pour out of him and the cracks in my heart deepen further. I fear for the day it just completely breaks in half.

"I don't know what to do." I whisper. "I can't turn it off, Edward, it's my only option. I want to die. That was my plan for tonight." I confess.

"No!" Edward and Bella both cry together. She breaks down and falls to the ground on her knees.

"No, Jazz, no you're all I've got. Dad is going to help you!" he speaks through his sobs.

"I'm so sick of this Edward; I'm not even me anymore! I only feel what everyone else is feeling. At least in the after world I can be me again!" I start to feel my own tears boil to the surface.

"Let me help you!" He pleads.

"Me too! I get we don't know each other well, but I can't leave you! I found you in that alley Jasper, I couldn't let you go! Let us help you, please! Please!" She whips tears off of her checks as she speaks, but she can't keep up they are all falling just too fast.

"Don't cry," I plead. I know I am the cause of the pain she is experiencing. I can't leave her either. I need to make her stop, her tears edge my heart to the danger zone of breaking and I don't understand how she can sway these feelings so much.

"Edward,"I reach out and place my hand on his shoulder, trying to sooth the pain I caused but his anger and depression only seeps through to me stronger than possible.

"What?" He shakily asks looking at me. His eyes puffier than I've ever seen them and bright red; he has tears stained all the way down his cheeks and fresh ones spilling over his eyes. I've only seen him cry once, when Grandpa died, that's it. I'm not used to this, he's the big brother he soothes me and I'm not used to being on this side of the problem.

"I'm sorry," I squeeze his shoulder. If only the drugs would have taken me away I wouldn't have to face him now. I can't even promise him I won't shoot up again because I can't make that promise; I can't keep it and I wish I could because I hate doing this to him.

"Jazz, we may have friends surrounding us but you're all I fucking have your all I've ever had. Remember that time when mom and dad we're separated for those couple of months and we hid out in our tree house that entire time? We ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for every meal and rode our bikes to school together. We slept up there and never went in the house. We got through that together because we were so afraid if mom and dad could break their bond so could we. If you're gone who am I going to do that with?" He cries and I didn't even notice Bella had crawled over to him and placed her small hand on his thigh, trying to comfort him.

"What about me? I need my history partner, too." She tries to smile but instead another tear trickles down her check. There's something about her, something different. She smiles and my whole world lights up, she smiles and nothing else matters. I feel only her. But when she cries, it's the strongest emotion I've ever felt. It seeps through my soul and into my heart so strong it just puts me down, I just can't fucking deal with her tears.

"Edward, she's different," I start. He looks up to me, his eyes still red and puffy."She's here and I barely feel you. It's all her." Bella looks at me then Edward than back to me with confusion in her eyes. I grab her hand and I feel safe."See? Just like that everything goes away." I think out loud. "I don't get it."

"Maybe your just in shock? I'm sure it's nothing." Edward says while looking down avoiding my eye contact; I'm sure he doesn't want me to see him break down. I drop her hand and Edward's fear and sadness seeps through the barrier.

"No," I insist. "She smiles and it over comes everything; she cries and somebody might as well of ripped my heart through my chest." I feel the anxiety taking over my body and I grab her hand again and everything is gone. No fear, no anger just hope. "It's stronger when we're touching though."

"What's going on?" Bella cries. I have no idea why but I don't want to tell her how fucked up I am because I fear I'll lose her, and I just can't fucking loose her and that scares the shit out of me. But I want her to know, she can help me.

"I can feel everyone's emotions; yours are the strongest I don't understand. I've never felt anything but anger and fear. You're different I feel hope when you're around," I spill all in one breath, my eyes locked into her comforting brown eyes. She says nothing and just nods so I continue. "Any emotion anyone has ever had it goes straight to me and tonight I was just done dealing with it. I need to make it stop. I want to be me again. You make that happen."

"Why me?"

"I don't know but it scares the shit out of me," I state.

"Look, I'm just going to lay my cards out here. I like you, like a lot and for a really long time, Jasper," She admits, looking down to hide the fact her blood has run to her checks. "I almost lost you today and that scares the shit out of me."

"I don't want you to leave," I confess.

"I don't want to go," she states locking her eyes back to mine.

"Um, I'm going to get mom and dad, I'm sure they're pounding at the doors." Edward reminds me before leaving the room. But he sounded muffled and everything blurred away. I realize I am still holding her hand and she's rubbing the top of my hand with her thumb so I copy her motions to her. I'm completely surrounded by hope and I'm scared that when she leaves I'll be in that dark hole again.

"Help me," I close my eyes and whisper. "I want to be a strong man; I want to be the man a mirror likes to see. God, I'm asking you to change me into the man I want to be." I plead. She opens her mouth to say something but Carlisle, Esme and Edward walk in.

"Sweetie, its way past one in the morning, maybe you should go home and get some rest. I'm sure your dad is starting to worry about you." Esme spoke to Bella while sitting in the chair by my bed and grabbing my other hand.

"Okay Mrs. Cullen," she agrees. Bella pulls herself up of the ground and pulls Edward into a tight hug. "He's okay, don't beat yourself up." She whispered into his ear trying to comfort him. I really hate myself for putting him through this. She walks over to me grabbing my hand again. "Don't you dare fucking think about leaving me," she sternly voices. She leans down and crushes her lips to mine. I kiss her back with so much passion that I don't even understand this new feeling of euphoria that I couldn't even reach with the drugs. Even the strongest brand of heroine can't save me like she can. What is this feeling and why do I feel like I just met God?

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**A/N: OMG they are falling in LOVE hahaha leave us some love and you'll get a teaser. Thanks to everyone who has followed, favoriteed, viewed, and reviewed we really appreciate it.**


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